[Note: The mysterious 3 NBs of Julian Drew is told partly in code during the first 43 pages. NB is an abbreviation for "notebook," the set of journals that Julian Drew keeps. Each entry begins with a series of capitalized letters and numbers. Context clues will help you understand most of the code. Sometimes you have to keep reading to be able to understand a coded word or phrase. But the general meaning of the book is clear, even if you have to wait a number of pages to understand some coded words. If you need help, here's some more code information.]
my eyes saw
in my dream
in MY dream
IN MY DREAM
The lock is on
my hand is trying 2 write
TRYING 2 write
my brain dreamed about Ur letter
until last night
now no dream
no dream now
Why won't my pen do this?
Everything is like watching myself in a mirror
My eyes are tired of mirror-watching me
My eyes are tired
but my hand is trying.
My brain is thinking of some 1.
It is thinking of U.
Me + U
My brain can't stand it
4 yr is a long time. 4 yr is 4ever.
All it thinks about is U.
Don't think about THEM, brain.
Just think about U.
My hand is going 2 WRITE.
My hand IS going 2 write.
My hand is going 2 write U if it K1775 me.
No 1 can stop me.
43 can't stop me.
543 can't stop me.
There are 2 many things 2 write.
My hand will say 1 THING.
Some THING my brain thinks about.
My brain had a nowhere dream 4 20 nights. My body was nowhere.
It was dusty, smelly, old.
My eyes saw a book on a shelf. It was Ur book.
My fingers found a letter inside.
The letter was from U.
It was so real my ears heard the envelope crackle.
My nose could smell Ur perfume.
But the dream stopped be4 my eyes could read the letter + now my brain doesn't dream this dream anymore.
What was inside the letter? What did U want 2 tell me?
My hand wrote
(maybe it's the pen's fault).
Copyright © James M. Deem. This excerpt is taken from 3 NBs of Julian Drew (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1994). All rights reserved.